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Mengus [Nov. 20th, 2007|02:17 pm]
[Current Location |the yotecave]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |nekromantix: I'm a hellcat]

It's a rather lazy sort of day so I thought I'd look around a few of my friends' journals for older posts, you know, something I might not have seen. When I saw this post in mengus journal, all I could really do was flutter my hand to my chest and go, "Oooh."

Read more...Collapse )
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Brotherhood [Nov. 17th, 2007|06:09 pm]
hungryandhollow, on the kind of friendship we should all be lucky enough to have.

It's Friday, 11:30 PM. It's been a long, long day. Blake and I watched a movie, and now I'm going to bed, when I see my cell phone - 1 missed call, area code I've never heard of, and a voicemail.

"Clay, it's Zach. I'm back." Hotel name, room number.

I'm there in 15 minutes, and he comes running out into the parking lot. We wrap each other in the manly hug of male friends who haven't seen each other in three years, and then, this being Zach, he grabs my face and kisses me. It's not a real kiss, it's a performance for our friends outside his hotel room, and I kiss him back while our friends either catcall or shout disgusted remarks. This isn't the first time we've done this and it probably won't be the last.

I come into the hotel room, and Fever to Tell is playing. Of course it is. "They've been my favorite band for almost two years now," I tell him, and he nods. His iTunes reads like my list of favorite bands. Parallel evolution, or some similar bullshit.

Zach is different now, mostly physically. The Marines will do that to you. "No one thought I could make it," he boasts. "Some bullshit about my rampant issues with authority. And now I'm stationed In Iraq, motherfuckers, so suck my cock." "Yea, but every time you get promoted you get demoted a week later," I tell him. "Don't try and cold-read me, you cocksucker," he laughs, "but you're right. I subconsciously make myself fuck up because I'm afraid of my own success." There you go, the lessons we learned together eight, nine years ago. Wear your flaws like armor. The 8 Mile defense, we called it eventually. Throw it all at people, everything they could insult you with, and you take away their weapons.

"I know how you did it," I tell him. "It took me a while, but I figured it out, when I heard they were sending you to Iraq. You conned them, didn't you? It's a game. A challenge. You're spending your service conning the Marines into thinking you're a perfect Marine. And that's how you can get yourself to take orders instead of swinging at someone and winding up in the brig." He just smiles and lights a cigarette. For all his flaws - and he has many - Zach has more raw power in his charm than anyone I've ever met, and while it may be much rougher, much less polished than it should be, he's got the dedication and the commitment to make it work.

I'm late to the party, so we don't stay long, but I come by the next night. Too many people for Zach's hotel room, maybe 10 of us, so we decide to go back to my house and play Guitar Hero and drink more. "The only thing is, me and Juliette gotta wait for her little brother to come by," he says. No problem, we can all wait. "No, no, you guys go ahead, we'll catch up." Zach, if I leave without you, you're not coming. "No, I am, I promise, just go ahead." Zach, just tell me you don't want to come. "I AM coming, just in like, 30 minutes. I promise." I shrug. He's not coming. As we start to leave, he says "Hey wait, we don't know how to get there. Jesse, why don't you stay, and you can drive us over, since you've been there before?" Sure, no problem.

We get back to my house and I tell them all, Zach's not coming. "What? He said he was." Yes, but he way lying. "Then why did he have Jesse stay with him? He wouldn't do that if he wasn't coming." I taught him that trick, dammit. He's not coming. "He's coming," they insist. Fifteen minutes later, Jesse shows up, alone. "Zach's not coming," she announces. Of course he's not. It's easy to tell when Zach's lying - he's always lying. I used to think he was a compulsive liar, but now I know it goes beyond that. Zach tells the truth by lying. The truth is the negative space surrounded by his lies.

I don't mind that he lied to me, I really don't. It's been so long, and it's been so twisted, from best friends to each other's nemesis to a little bit of both. There's something a little nostalgic about it all. Something warm and familiar about him lying to my face, knowing that I know he's lying, and knowing I love him too much to expose him. Because that's our game. It was always our game. Ever since we first met, the cons, the performances. And for all his flaws - and again, there are many - I've never met anyone who works with me half so well. Who intuitively knows where I'm going with this line or that act, and knows exactly what to do to set me up, and vice-versa. Even at the worst moments of animosity, when we weren't speaking and we hated each other to the bottoms of our heart, we'd never expose each other. Some things are sacred like that. I'm not a Marine and I never will be, but Zach and I had our own brotherhood long before he joined up.

Today I talk to Blake about the party we're having. I invited Jenn and her boyfriend, I tell him. "Wasn't he getting into coke? We don't want that shit around here." No worries, I say, Zach will be here. This gets a snort in return. "What, so you mean he'll be in the bathroom doing coke too?" Not at all. Zach would have no problem violating my no-drugs rule, but he'd happily beat the shit out of anyone else who brought so much as a blunt into my house. "Zach was always fucking crazy," Blake grumbles, and he's right. Zach is crazy, and Zach has a tendency towards addiction, and Zach is nihilistic and hates the world and doesn't care about almost anyone besides himself. But we had a brotherhood, even when we were enemies, and Zach wouldn't let anyone hurt me but himself. And the funny thing is, I think I'm not crazy, but I feel the same way towards him.
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Veteran's Day [Nov. 14th, 2007|09:47 am]

lemistress posts her painful, beautiful and heartbreaking account of being at her brother's side during his early convalescence from losing his legs in Iraq.

How do you thank a soldier, a mother, a sister, a wife -- a family, for this?

Brutal, unflinching and brave.Collapse )
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From fck_fashion [Nov. 13th, 2007|01:25 pm]
[Current Location |Lake Tahoe, CA]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

I came across fck_fashion in another community and have enjoyed her witty commentary. I especially enjoy the manner in which she pokes fun at the very funny things that happen during the normal course of her day. To have just a 10th of the excitement that she has in her life would be exhilarating. Enjoy!

I've been running low on funds since it's been slow at the shop after Halloween. I've been praying for a little extra money this month, since I've got some bills (phone) that need attention. Anyway, long story short - a man named Michael Wren (I'm writing this so everyone knows if I disappear thats where I've ended up - it was on his Credit Card) Comes in the shop. I brush it off, I get guys in here either shopping for women or shopping for PLAY cross dress night. I ask him if he'd like some help, and he tells me this embarrassing story about loosing a bet to some girl friends and having to dress up in drag. I could tell though, that this has to be a front. He's definitely got a fetish. I could tell by his mannerisms, and general demeanor.
I help him pick out some clothes, and he jokes about how I must be mortified there is a man trying on girl clothes in my store. I joke about how I was at one time going to school to be a sex psychologist, and how nothing shocks me. I guess that was a mistake to mention....
He takes his dear sweet time trying on clothes, then purchases a leopard panty set with matching thong/skit and bra. He asks to try it all on together, I laugh and after he pays for everything I hand it to him and he makes his way to the dressing room. The entire time he's in there he's talking to me about sex stuff and I'm about to flip out since my phone won't send calls or messages. I don't get too uncomfortable easy, but he was really giving me the creepy rapist vibe.
He then proceeds to walk out of the dressing room in the outfit and lifts up his dress to reveal a massive erection under his white social suicide (panty line here at the shop) panty. Not only this, he then goes back in and tries on the leopard thong and bra set. I'm cringing right now, as I recall this. The whole time, I can't call out on my phone... It only receives calls.... lord.
I'm still so nervous he's going to come back in. He was in here for nearly an hour and a half, and telling me how he gets erections from massages, I can tell he's definitely like Matt (roommates bf) and is a type who likes to show himself to women. Before he finally leaves he tells me how hot I am and how he wants to have sex with me. I just kind of shrug and say, "well thanks?" I just wasn't quite sure what to do.

I get so many weirdos in here.
I also just have a weird life, that has something to do with it I'm sure. More to add to the book, right?
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How To Be Rude [Nov. 9th, 2007|03:42 pm]

i orignally came across zjkjoseph zjkjoseph when looking for a community for Clutch fans. his journal is chock-full of witty and sarcastic insights to his daily life. witty and sarcastic are my bread and butter, you see, so i had to friend him immediately.

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So Fresh It's Barely Lost Its Cherry [Nov. 6th, 2007|12:52 am]

I saw this on my friends list tonight, and couldn't even believe how good it was. And it just kept getting better as I read. Prose of this quality is rare, so savor it.

It's been a pleasure watching her talent develop. I give you tubesoxrock

Get SomeCollapse )
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(no subject) [Nov. 1st, 2007|11:10 am]

I loaded my f-list this morning to find that girliebacchanal wrote this little gem in the wee hours, just in time for my morning cup of coffee.

What a pleasant read, since I'm pretty sure the only spells I've ever cast were on myself.

"Are you a witch?" Diego asked me, dead seriously. "Did you cast a spell on me or something?"
Black Magic WomanCollapse )
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I think the Alphaville reference is what sold me from the very start. [Oct. 29th, 2007|09:15 pm]

Meet kagetoh, who is without question, one of the coolest people on lj. I am grateful to have made his acquaintance in the waking world.

Some of you know him from b_h, where his wry wit has been just crushing shit lately, but some of us remember him from youcantwrite, theentertainers and the_reviewers .

Big in JapanCollapse )
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matrixx ends a torid affair [Oct. 28th, 2007|01:26 pm]

I saw this on my flist last week and it made me laugh. Thought you all might enjoy it, too.

My Darling Rug Doctor,

How well I remember that first night we spent together. You showed me things I'd never seen before! The way we danced across that floor, leaving nothing but pure, clean love in our wake... There were so many good times.

Most of them, however, were fleeting. We'd have a beautiful night together, maybe a few stolen hours before you had to go back to the real world. Do you recall that time we were able to spend three days together? There wasn't a single inch of the house that we didn't roll over. But oh how I paid for that later!

And of course each time I picked you up I felt pangs of guilt for spending the time with you instead of the Hoover sitting at home. You know, though, how much more you had to offer. To be a bit blunt, it was really all about the suction. And your vibrating brush. Really you just can't compare the two of you.

But some of the novelty has worn off, Ruggie. Our relationship came at a cost. I've begun to long for a machine who can be there for me when I need it. Something I wouldn't have to use so frantically before it was time to leave. I'm trying to avoid hurting your feelings here, but I should also mention your weight. Since you were promoted to Wide Trac, your weight has just gotten a bit out of control.

It's because of these things I turned elsewhere. Yes, that's right - there's someone else. A redhead by the name of Bissel. She can do things you haven't even dreamed of. Two words: crevice tool. She's really hot, too, makes the water 25 degrees warmer. Not only does she get the job done as well as you do, she's a lot less messy about it. And for the sake of mercy, I won't elaborate on her weight or flexibility.

It isn't easy for me to tell you that our relationship must end. And I know we'll still see each other at the grocery store or Lowe's, I'll try to be kind and just walk on by. Please know that there will always be a place for you in my heart.

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Poor whiskers set the room alight. [Oct. 26th, 2007|10:16 am]

You know him.

You have a little brother or a friend's boyfriend or a bar buddy that's number one operation is shit-talking. They're probably really good at it too, so good that sometimes you just want to shove them facefirst into their pint of beer. But every now and then, they just say something that is so fucking hilarious and dead on that you can't help but smile and remember why you call them friend.

vengeance_is_me is charming in an endearingly familiar way.

Now if I could just get him to stop talking shit about Texas.

Mike has a thing for the hair on his chinny-chinnykin.Collapse )
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